The news of my brother Helmuth Solis’s passing at the young age of 42, just shy of his 43rd birthday in July, has been devastating. Processing this loss has been profoundly challenging, as grief never becomes easier, especially when it strikes so close to home.
Hamster and I met in elementary school, part of a tight-knit group of nine friends who lived within blocks of each other in Miami. Our friendship, forged in childhood, weathered its share of challenges but never faltered. As we grew into our teenage years, navigating middle school and high school, our bond only deepened. We became brothers, not by blood but by choice.
Tragedy first struck when Hamster’s mother was diagnosed with breast cancer during our teenage years. The news was shattering, but we rallied around him. Despite the physical and emotional toll of her illness, Hamster remained a pillar of strength for his younger sister and grandparents after his mother’s passing. I admired his resilience, his ability to face such a profound loss with courage and grace.
A few years later, tragedy hit my family when my own mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. Hamster, though two years younger, became my rock. He understood the pain I was enduring, having walked that path himself. His strength during his mother’s illness inspired me to persevere through mine. When my mother passed away a couple of years after high school, Hamster was there, offering unwavering support. His example of fortitude gave me the courage to be strong for my own family.
Despite his personal loss, Hamster stayed focused on his dream of becoming an attorney. He graduated high school and earned his bachelor’s degree with determination. While preparing for the LSAT, he immersed himself in his studies, undeterred by the distractions of young adulthood in Miami. His hard work paid off when he rocked the LSAT and was accepted into the University of Miami School of Law. I can still picture his radiant smile when he shared the news, a testament to his resilience and ambition.
Hamster graduated law school, passed the bar, and began practicing as an attorney, living the dream he’d worked so hard to achieve. He married, became a devoted father to two beautiful children, and built a life filled with love and purpose. His journey was nothing short of inspiring.
When I decided to pursue a career in medicine in my 30s, after serving in the United States Air Force, Hamster thought I was ambitious but never doubted me.“You’re crazy, Alston,” he’d tease, his laugh warm, but his support was unwavering. He understood the sacrifices required to chase a dream, having done so himself. Throughout my journey, returning to school, taking the GRE and MCAT, and gaining acceptance into the FSU College of Medicine PA program, Hamster was there, calling, texting, and checking in. He cheered me on, knowing how much my dream meant to me, just as I had celebrated his.
When I graduated from FSU College of Medicine, Hamster was thrilled, his pride in my accomplishments mirroring my admiration for his. We shared a unique understanding of the challenges we’d faced, losing our mothers at a young age and pushing forward despite life’s hardships.
Twenty-five years ago, I attended Hamster’s mother’s funeral. Twenty years ago, he stood by me at my mother’s funeral. Now, I face the unbearable task of attending his. At 44, I’ve been to too many funerals, both during my time in the Air Force and in civilian life. Each one leaves an indelible mark, a reminder of how fragile and precious life is. This loss, of my best friend, my little brother from another mother, weighs heavily on my heart.
As a practicing psychiatric mental health provider, I often grapple with the weight of my losses and how they fuel my passion and calling. Why, at such a young age, have I endured so much grief? Each loss, my mother, my brothers-in-arms, and now my brother Hamster, has carved a deeper well of empathy within me. This empathy is the heartbeat of my work, allowing me to sit with my patients’ pain and truly understand the agony of losing someone too soon, as well as the resilience it demands to keep moving forward.
If you’re reading this, hold your loved ones close. Cherish every moment with family and friends, for life is fleeting. Let go of grudges, set aside pride, and choose empathy over indifference. Everyone you meet is fighting a battle, seen or unseen, and offering kindness, even in the face of differences, is the truest path.
Rest in peace my brother Helmuth "Hamster" Solis. You were a remarkable son, brother, father, husband, and friend. Your resilience, love, and unwavering support will live on in the hearts of everyone who knew you, Thank you for the memories my brother!
Love,
Alston
